“There’s not really any place for me,” Alice told me one day when I joined her for our school’s free breakfast program.
She was dunking French toast sticks in a plastic container of syrup and downing them so fast I knew she probably hadn’t eaten much the night before. Alice and her mom had recently left an unsafe home situation and were now staying in a support home in the community.
“I thought you and your mom had a nice room,” I replied. “We’ve got beds and a dresser,” Alice said, “but there’s no place cozy, like our Wolf’s Den.”
Alice was referring to the comfort corner space I had created in our wolf-themed classroom. My students could step into the Wolf’s Den anytime they felt overwhelmed, anxious, or in need of a calming reset.
And now Alice was noticing the absence of a similar space in the transitional housing that was now her home. Before downing her orange juice and heading off to the playground, Alice said, “You should help them make one because a lot of kids there seem sad.”
What Alice shared reinforced what I already knew from teaching children living in transitional housing and those who had fled domestic violence. Even though the new space they are living in is clean, stable, and safe, many children are still carrying the stress of what they have experienced, and that stress lives both in their minds and in their bodies.
Children living in domestic violence shelters and transitional housing often carry significant emotional stress. Creating calming spaces where children can relax, regulate their emotions, and feel safe can make a meaningful difference in how they cope with difficult experiences.
Children in transitional housing are often easily overwhelmed. They may be startled by loud noises, jumpy, or always on edge, scanning for danger. They are often sad about the life or home they left behind, even if it wasn’t ideal. Their home, and often many of their favorite belongings have been left behind.
Children in these circumstances often feel myriad emotions: relief, anxiety, sadness, overwhelm, and great uncertainty about the future. While their emotional needs are complex, supporting them through challenging times can easily be done by implementing a Comfort Corner.
Creating trauma-informed calming spaces for children in domestic violence shelters and transitional housing programs can give overwhelmed children a simple place to relax, regulate their emotions, and feel calm again.
A comfort corner is a relaxing space filled with comfortable seating, soft lighting and sensory-soothing objects and activities that help children calm big emotions. In this small, quiet space children feel safe and can regulate and take a calming break.
While you may find elaborate comfort corners on social media, comfort corners are for kids, not Instagram-worthy photo ops. In fact, the most effective spaces are often simple.
The Wolf Den in my classroom was around and partially underneath a large table up against a white-painted cinder block wall. There were flea-market finds, like blankets and beanbag chairs, weighted lap pads (donated by an occupational therapist), and a variety of sensory-soothing objects.
Inside the Wolf’s Den children had access to smooth stones, stress balls, Play-Doh, stuffed animals, and fidget toys. Tactile items give children something to hold or manipulate as they calm down.
These objects can also serve as grounding tools. When a child is overwhelmed, having something physical to squeeze, roll, or hold can help the nervous system shift away from stress and toward regulation.
Children could curl up and relax, many finding the smaller nook under the table to be especially calming, and places like these help children, especially those who have experienced instability, feel more contained and safe.
My classroom had small baskets of pine cone potpourri scented with apple, vanilla and cinnamon, and one of these baskets was in the Wolf’s Den. Gentle scents such as vanilla or pine can also create a soothing atmosphere for some children. Scent is strongly connected to memory and emotion, and familiar calming smells can help signal that a space is safe and predictable.
Soft lighting, rather than bright overhead lights, can further help the body shift into a calmer state.
If possible, decorate the space in ways that bring the outside, in. Again, this doesn’t need to be expensive. Simple posters of forests, mountains, trees, and streams keep the space relaxing. Often children living in transitional housing or shelters don’t have access to beautiful, natural spaces, which are so calming for the mind and body.
My resource room classroom was small, and our Wolf’s Den was not a large space. But it was predictable and comforting, and spaces like it can easily be duplicated in residential housing centers.
Another important component to a trauma-informed comfort space is placing a worry or feelings box inside or at the entrance.
Place paper, pencils, markers, or crayons next to the box, so children can write or draw their worries or concerns on the paper and slip them into the box as they enter the space. A worry box supports the children who may feel much calmer after getting their worries or anxieties out of themselves, onto paper, and into a box or container that holds them.
The worry box also offers staff and parents insight into the children’s emotional needs, and can help alert staff to any concerns that may need professional help.
Another way to use this trauma-informed space is to use it at a designated time, to teach children ways to relax, manage stress, deal with bullying, or educate them on any number of social-emotional topics.
I used my Wolf’s Den in this way, sometimes addressing worries that were left in the worry box, other times addressing topics like learning mindfulness and meditation, ways to make bedtime or other transition times more calming, using skills they learned in the comfort corner.
For example, I noticed that some of the consistent worries left in our worry box dealt with children who were fearful about the future, or those who were still tormented by events in their past.
With limited access to mental health services, these children often needed to learn coping skills to help them when other supports were not available to them. Teaching these children mindfulness practices like grounding and some simple breathwork gave them tools they could and did use at home, in transitional housing, and throughout their school day.
A calming corner isn’t meant to replace the mental health services some children may need, but it offers a calming bridge to support them right where they are.
One of the most important aspects of a calming space is that children are able to use it independently.
When children recognize that they are becoming overwhelmed and choose to step away to calm themselves, they are practicing an important emotional regulation skill. Instead of being removed from a situation by an adult, the child is learning to notice their own signals and take steps to settle themselves.
Staff may occasionally sit with a child in the space, especially when a child is younger or very upset. However, many children simply need a moment to breathe, hold something comforting, or sit quietly until they feel calm again.
Children, like Alice, intuitively know that they feel better not only inside the calming space, but also knowing that the space is available for them anytime it is needed.
The Wolf’s Den, like many calming corners, also offered audio stories and calming music that children could listen to with headphones. A gentle story voice gives the mind something safe and predictable to focus on. Instead of replaying worries or stressful memories, the child’s attention follows the narrative.
As the story unfolds, breathing often slows and muscles begin to relax. Stories can act as a bridge between overwhelm and calm, helping children calm enough to rejoin activities or prepare for sleep.
Many children respond especially well to story-based calming practices because stories create a sense of companionship. The child is not alone with their thoughts.
They are listening, imagining, and following along with a gentle voice. For children who have experienced instability, that quiet sense of companionship can feel especially reassuring.
Programs supporting children in domestic violence shelters or transitional housing often look for simple tools that help children calm their minds and bodies without adding additional workload for staff.
Wee Meditate is a story-based audio library designed to help children relax, regulate, and settle through gentle storytelling and guided imagery.
Many residential programs use the Comfort Corner section as part of their calming spaces, allowing children to listen to stories during moments of stress, fear, or difficulty settling. These simple calming supports can make a meaningful difference for children who are learning how to feel safe and settled again.
Organizations interested in learning more about using Wee Meditate in residential settings can explore the resource library HERE.
A calming space is a small area where children can step away from noise or stress and use simple regulation tools such as sensory objects, quiet seating, calming stories, or mindfulness practices.
Children living in shelters or transitional housing often carry stress from instability or trauma. A calming space gives them a predictable place where their bodies and minds can settle.
Effective calming spaces often include soft seating, sensory objects, quiet lighting, comforting scents, and calming audio stories or music.
Staff can introduce the space during calm moments, model how to use calming tools, and allow children to access the space independently when they feel overwhelmed.
Founder of Wee Meditate and former special education teacher. Author of The Wolf Pack Classroom Management Plan, which received the Benjamin Franklin Award for Best Education Book.
